For some people, deciding on their bridal party is one of the easiest parts of planning a wedding - but for most, it’s not such a no brainer decision. These 10 pieces of advice will help you navigate through this process and hopefully keep you (and your bridesmaids) out of some sticky situations.
Don’t rush it - Asking your girls to be a part of your wedding is one of the most exciting moments, but it doesn’t have to happen immediately after you get engaged. Give yourself some time to feel things out and figure out who you can really imagine standing by your side, for years to come.
Don’t feel guilty - This is obviously easier said than done, but more likely than not, you’re going to feel some level of guilt about not asking someone that might have been expecting you to. Talk to them - don’t avoid a conversation that in the long run could really save some hurt feelings. Whatever the reason is, it’s always best to communicate instead of leaving them to draw their own conclusions.
There are many roles - When planning a wedding, you’ll quickly learn that there are a lot of moving parts. Even if you weren’t able to ask someone that’s important to you to be in your wedding, you can still include them in other ways. Keep them in the loop by calling on them for advice with something that they’d be interested in; include them in the fun stuff like your bridal shower or bachelorette party.
It’s okay if your bridal party is uneven - Traditionally, the amount of groomsmen and bridesmaids is meant to be equal. Well, this just makes things stressful on both you and your fiancé. If it turns out that you two come up with a different number of people, don’t ask someone just to make it even. More than likely it is someone you didn’t feel connected to in the first place and it might even be obvious to them that they are just a stand in.
Be upfront about your expectations - If you’ve been in more than one wedding before, chances are you found your roles to be very different depending on the bride and groom. These select people are supposed to be your confidants, the people you feel closest to - be honest with them. Share your idea of what a bridesmaid means to you, how much you think most things will cost, and how many things you hope for them to be involved with. It will save you grief in the long run, trust me.
Ask them to be honest too - A wedding isn’t just a one day event, it’s a series of events, all of which will be very important to you. If your bridesmaid can’t afford to do something or just doesn’t have the know how to accomplish a task you need help with, let them know it’s okay to be honest. Just ask them to be open and let you know as soon as possible to avoid any disappointments on both ends.
Be decisive - Consider yourself the captain of this team you have assembled. There is nothing more frustrating than a lack of communication. Don’t be afraid to give some direction out of fear of coming off like bossy bridezilla. If you would like something a certain way, ask for it (of course, in the most loving way you can). Your bridesmaids are not mind readers and the more decisions you make, the easier their lives will be.
Let them help - Chances are you will get a lot of offers for help. And, chances are you will find yourself saying you don’t need it. Take the help! Find something that you feel each bridesmaid is really great at and let them take it on. Side note - remember what I said about expectations and honesty? If they don’t feel comfortable doing something, figure out something else that they might enjoy.
Make sure no one is left out - It is your responsibility to make sure everyone knows everyone. It’s likely that everyone has at least met, but that doesn’t mean that they feel comfortable reaching out to one another. Initiate this bond by having a night out that involves the whole group.
Be grateful - I can’t say this enough - a gracious attitude goes a long way. No matter how close you are with your bridesmaids, they should never feel unappreciated. Say thank you, speak kindly, and let them know you’re so happy to have them to lean on. Wedding planning only lasts for a short period of time; keep the big picture in mind and don’t let the little things get in the way of lifelong friendships.